you haven’t really lived until you’ve seen the accounts department drunk and whooping at a belly dancer
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I’ve been cranking out pottery for an upcoming show and Three Rivers Arts Festival. I have 120 pots now, but will probably sell around 260, which means I’ll need about 140 more to make 250 for TRAF….sigh.
Thank you for the links! You know, I had to move from Manatu, Manitoba where I was being raised by my grandma and great aunts to Pennsylvania and live with my horrible biological parents because ALCOA started mining for nickel in the hills above us and polluted all of the ground water and streams. They killed off all of the trout and salmon in our streams, farm animals died, and around 50 Metis Indians who lived about 2 miles from us. Of course the Canadian government claimed it was just a coincidence. I still have anger about it. Especially since ALCOA has their Hall of the American Indians at the Carnegie Museum.
I really like your website, but need to take time to read it more. I’m dyslexic. So, I read everything 3 or 4 times to absorb the information. You should be quite proud of what you’re doing. I’m very proud of you!
i am wearing a new pair of jeans and they are a s ize smaller than my old ones. i ordered new ones in the same size as the old ones and i could pull them down with the button fastened and zipper up.
Thanks for your email. I am going to be upfront, I am really interested in making business with you.
However, I have to tell you that I am not a bank person, I don’t have money stored in banks nor I am planning to; but because the sum of money is pretty big for me to consider opening one, I called a friend of mine that works in a bank in Switzerland, asking for advice.
Because the sum of money is important enough, said bank would need some kind of security deposit in order for federal institutions in Europe to not investigate it, which is something I think you and me both want for security reasons.
I’ve been thinking about this and I think it would be best if we can split the deposit of $200 in the 30% and 70% that you said the money would be separated in. At the end of the day, the separation needs to be clear enough for the bank to know where the money is going to at the end of the transaction.
I’ll give you details in how to wire the money to me for the $140 that result of the 70% of $200 once you’ve given me confirmation to follow up in this business.
Please keep this message confidential, since I have people inside one of the most important banks in the world that could be screwed if this sees the light.
Thank you very much,
Girl please with those floral heels, when did my cankles, metal infused leg, and utter lack of coordination get cured?!!!
What about these floral combat boots, I think they are made from our old couch. I hear heavy boots are in again and I think they pair nicely with the midi dress we are wearing.
I hope you are doing incredibly well, and that you are getting excited for the next school year to start. I have been extremely nostalgic lately, and I am missing the idea of starting a bunch of new classes filled with like-minded people very much this August. I cannot believe it has already been several months since we last talked. My summer has been extremely busy with lots of exciting developments and trying to spend as much time as possible outdoors. I wanted to send you a quick email to give you a brief update on my life and to discuss several of the books I have read over the last couple of months that you opened my eyes to…
I appreciate you getting back to me to let me know you’re moving forward with other candidates. I know I bombed that one, and I could tell within the first few minutes. Maybe it was the faded look of interest on my interviewers face or maybe it was when I stumbled with basic technical questions. It’s unfortunate it had to end this way, with a whimper instead of the bang of excitement it started with here. It’s a shame that all days can’t be good days, and things just don’t always go according to plan.
If I could have a do-over, a mulligan really, a chance to show that: “Heck yes, I want this job”; I would be ready. Heck, if we had to fight it out hunger games style in an underground arena, I’m pretty sure I would win that round. Unfortunately you usually don’t realize these sort of things until it’s too late. Sending you my trivial mental thoughts on the process probably only helps to keep me from being employed full-time. I truly and honestly mean this: I hope you and your team have a bomb-diggity day. I know sending rejection letters isn’t a great way to start it, but there’s the joy you get to experience by giving someone else good news.
You’ll never see this letter unfortunately, you’ll just get a “Thanks for following up” note I could type in my sleep. I’ll go off and continue my week, six interviews later across four companies without a job to show for it at the end. It’s a shame we met under different circumstances because I found you just adorable. Yeah, I know bad time to bring that up.
Stay Cute Dani, Stay Cute.
The Disillusioned Applicant
This starts off as a regular fan mail. I’ve been hooked on MysteryShow ever since the teaser came out. I love how subtly it uncovers the magic and whimsy in everyday life while pretending to be a show about mysteries.
I am such a fan, that I found a magazine to interview you for :) I’d love to ask you a couple of questions and profile the show for Quotes, a bi-lingual magazine in Bulgaria for folks who share our enthusiasm and curiosity for people.
I know your schedule must be crazy, doing a weekly show, but I’d love to be able to share the show with more people, especially in Bulgaria. So, if you think you’d have the time to answer a couple of my questions, it will absolutely make my year!
Let me just say that I did care for you. I really did, I really was your friend and I never wanted to hurt you, but you’ve hurt me and I need to think of myself, I need to do this for myself.
We’ve know each other for 5 years, and I find myself trying to remember how it felt at the beginning, the excitement (?) of a new friendship and how it felt to have someone new in my life that inspired me in so many ways, just to try to not yell at you every time we talk, just to keep myself from running away from this city so I never see you again. I try to remember the good things about us, but it’s like grasping at straws.. useless.
At first, when our friendship started to turn bad, I understood you were going through a hard break-up, but when everything you said to me made me feel like a horrible person for being in a healthy relationship, for not being broke, it didn’t make sense anymore. I felt so bad for you, but you had a way of emotionally blackmailing me to get me to do everything you wanted, to make yourself feel better, the victim, always the victim. It made me feel like I had to tip-toe around you, but, still, I tried. I tried to understand, to be sensitive, I tried to be honest and it so often backfired on me that I just ended up doing what ever you wanted and agreeing with you so I wouldn’t feel worse.
It’s fine, I still feel like maybe I did something wrong with our friendship even when everyone keeps telling me it’s not me, it’s you.
And why do you always interrupt me when I’m speaking? You do that, a lot, it’s always about you. Always. You didn’t even care when my dad got sick and i was so sad about what would happen, you didn’t care. Didn’t ask.
Honestly, no wonder you end up with no friends after a while, no wonder they, we, all leave you. You’re a bad friend, so selfish, so toxic.
I was trying to be honest. I was trying to be your friend. I guess this is good bye.
How do we separate from what we could do from what we should do?
There are a lot of fabulous things in life that don’t include a baby… what would that be like?
Sex, travel, options, adventure, love, Paris whenever,
Will we have enough to make up for the fact that we don’t have a child?
I feel a little bit like I am drowning.
I just needed someone else to know.
Getting over my fear of dying in space
there’s a break that comes in that last song on halcyon digest that kills me every time. it literally feels like a piece of me is dying. the song is about seven and a half minutes long and I spend the whole first part waiting for it, because I know it’s coming and I know it’s going to slay me. you on the floor with my guitar, effortlessly having found the chords. I sit and let it wash over me like a wave. you were six feet away from me that day. I could have reached out and touched you. I did. I never should have. I should have gone all the way that night. I didn’t know what to do with my arms. emily says I have to push through the moments that freeze me. I have entire stretches of my day that aren’t frozen now. when the cold takes over, though, it immobilizes me. the radio shifts into song and I’m suddenly encapsulated in forty feet of solid ice in all directions. I’m on the side of the road trying to run with broken legs.
and then it passes.
I am terribly upset about Suzanne Somers’ Tox-Sick book, as I have come to learn that it is filled with fragmented sentence structure as well as large blank spaces and unnecessary line breaks. This strategic formatting undoubtably adds to the amount of pages in the book as part of what I can only presume to be an effort to make the book seem longer and therefore more legitimate to anyone who is glancing through it, increasing chances of sales.
Having said that, the content of
All right, to whoever keeps sending me links to dating sites. STOP DOING THAT, OK? I know I should find a girlfriend, but it doesn’t work for me this way. Live and let live, please.
After a quick look they appear to be hell bent on destroying this thing.
How’s it going in New Zealand? I bought 23 horse boxes today and now I sell them on to buy winter fuel. Also I am no longer Dutch.
hugs and kisses,
Greetings! Little happiness here though- i bet you think that you r a better dancer but fat chance. don’t evr try to x me again.
i’ll catch you out on the wayside.. or not, if you believe Mr
Thanks for your salutations,
Hi, wow! You’re pregnant after trying only once! That’s incredible! Amazing! (Both that it happened that way and that you decided to share that in an email!)
So happy to hear that you’re five months into such a beautiful journey. Us? We’ve been trying for eighteen months now. Yep, eight. teen. If I were you, I might have TWO babies right now! Instead, I just have this shriveled paper bag of a uterus, a depleted savings account, and marital problems. Ha, ha!
So, sure, I’d love to get coffee sometime – decaf for you, because no caffeine while you’re pregnant, amirite? Only, I’m going to need you not to complain about anything, at all. Literally, anything. Seriously, if you complain about anything at all, I will get up and leave.
Great! So, next Tuesday at 5:30? Congrats, again!!
Dog owners owners gave me a 5 star review in the end. Guess i was paranoid about the puppy cam.
Also i have been enjoying putting more effort into everything I write.
Probs shit but i wrote this for you…
My mother and I were having a silly Sunday in our big green house on Victoria st.
I had just put two braids in her hair whilst we watched a movie, making her wild curls tame.
We had moved into the kitchen where I was pouring myself a glass of champagne.
I was just about to take a sip from my bubbles when she made a smart-arsed comment about her hair.
"I look like a bloody Flathead"
To which I immediately responded.
“Don’t flatter yourself.”
My mother had just lifted a tissue to her nose ready to blow.
Instead what came out was a burst of laughter.
Barely able to breath she stepped into the next room where I could still hear her in hysterics.
Her laughter was infectious and I couldn’t help but join in.
I put my glass back on the bench so I didn’t spill it’s contents.
Once we finally caught our breath there was a sense renewal, everything had lifted and
nothing could remove the smiles that remained on our faces for the rest of the evening.
Today sucked. You know why? I got stuck in the freakin bathroom stall.
The police MAN came into the WOMAN’s bathroom to get me out. And guess what? They failed. I was still in the freakin bathroom stall. I had to climb under the stall to reach the one next to it to get out. This day freakin sucked! SO, how was yours? P.S. There is a thunder storm right now as I type this email (in Auston, Texas What kind of sunny place had thunder storms?!?) . God, what else can happen to me?
i called your cell but your voicemail isn’t set up. How did it all go? Are you at your house? Our house?
Which period(s) of then-contemporary literature, if any, would you argue suffer from “thematic poverty”? “Thematic poverty” is defined as fiction whose substance lacks (either comparatively or absolutely) anything interesting, insightful, novel, meaningful, or innovative.
(A) The Premodernists (pre-20th century)
(B) The Modernists (quintessential example: Ulysses)
(C) The First-Wave Postmodernists (quintessential example: Catch-22)
(D) The Second-Wave Postmodernists (post-Vietnam-ish extending potentially to the present)
(E) Post-Postmodernists (quintessential example: Infinite Jest)
Hola Carla, Long time no see!
Here some additional homework for you:
a few questions my mind came up with:
Do you feel better now? Double checking
Is there something special I can/should do for you?
Happy pills? why did you decide to go for them? real effects?
I promise I listened to every word you said and I don’t think I should change any behaviour I have with u now, but if needed, just shout!
can I send you emails when I have thoughts about what we talked about and I don’t want to forget? or should I write them down somewhere and bring with next session?
- 100 mile bike ride with strangers
- every time I get on a plane
- trying a new restaurant by myself
- making & having breakfast in the morning (not in a rush–almost never happens)
- each time I go to yoga (rare)
- when I write to a friend (especially if we haven’t spoken in a while)
- when I would run through Brooklyn Bridge park and see the sunset
- singing in the street with a homeless man
- listening to NPR news in the mornings
- when I make a birthday cake for someone
- throwing things away [that are not relevant for the present time]
- taking the day off from work but not doing anything
- cleaning, laundry, dishes***
- when I cancel my birthday party because it’s raining (it wasn’t even outdoors)
- writing overly enthusiastic emails, daily (work)
- sleeping in past 1030 on weekends
- playing a game on the metro instead of reading
- my job almost every day, where I’m not generating any new ideas
- keeping everything [because they might be useful for the hypothetical future]
So when I lived in London, I lived near Edgware Road. It’s not an area I hung out in tons (except I’d go to the pub next door to my flat, because of course), but it was close to Marble Arch and Hyde Park.
Marble Arch is the start of a major shopping area. And if you follow the shopping street from there, it can take you through Covent Garden (which had this one little alley with old booksellers and other cute things like that; I luckily stumbled upon it again when I was there a few weeks ago!) and Trafalgar Square I think and eventually all the way to the Thames. Primark is the only shopping I loved in London. It’s kinda like H&M, so it might not be a crazy must-see, but it was astonishingly cheap [like sneakers for two pounds] and it gets super swamped.
Hyde Park! Famous park. Huge. Speaker’s Corner is a corner where there is a literal soapbox and anyone can stand on it and start talking about stuff. There are sometimes festivals and things here, or crowds gathered to watch football games on screens and whatnot, so you might wanna look up to see if anything cool is going on there.
National Portrait Gallery in Trafalgar Square Victoria & Albert Museum (I genuinely got lost in here.)
See a show - it’s totally fine to stop in one of those storefronts for tickets, though I prefer the TKTS booth in Leicester Square. If you want a cool, less touristy theatre experience, the National Theatre of London is famous and often offers cheaper tickets for people under 35. You can buy in advance or at the theatre if still available.
(You can do the Shakespeare Globe theatre, and get one of the standing tickets in front of the stage, but…if it rains… you will be miserable [said from experience]). Royal Shakespeare Company also offers cheap day-of tickets for young people I think.
Camden Town/Camden Lock is a trendy area. You might run into celebrities in the Whole Foods, haha. I went to school near here. It’s near water, and the Camden Market is a big deal.
Brick Lane is very cool. I was only here once, but wish I’d gone more. They have a market as well, lots of indian food.
Tower of London. I took this on my first trip to LDN in 2005, and again when I was living there. I’m not always one for tours, but it was great. And you can see the Crown Jewels, which are pretty incredible too.
Walk across the Tower Bridge.
Borough Market (supposedly awesome grilled cheese cart here)
St. Paul’s Cathedral/Millennium Bridge
Bear, I’ve reflected on what I experienced last night.
It was powerful seeing all these people having life altering awakenings. It gives me hope that we surely are going through a collective awakening through all these wonderful different channels.
It was most powerful of all seeing the change in you. The hard sell and culty feel and cheery ads actually detracted from the authentic experience I had with you on Monday! Which left me to be a bite grumbly by the end.
The idea of just being struck me. Not to look at obstacles as a problem to be acted against to gain some prize but simply to act in accordance with your authentic self.
I couldn’t articulate this in the moment but what I want now is to be. I’m happy in my upward spiral as it is now.
I trust that when the time is right I will do it.
Stop worrying. Start working.
Focus. Schedule. Discipline.
Finishing things. It’s the only way to learn.
If you don’t make Ringgit then you don’t make sense.
I understand the birthday and anniversary calendar was taken down due to privacy concerns from someone not wanting to share their information publicly with the company. Totally understandable.
That said, I also think that while seemingly trivial, the birthday/anniversary calendar was actually a really useful tool for helping people celebrate their fellow coworkers. I’m sure you already understand the business value of why celebration and workplace happiness is important for retention and productivity, but just in case here’s a recent article about it. https://blog.intercom.io/why-happiness-at-work-really-matters
Also, think about how much more cake and baked goods there will be here if this is brought back! Which, in and of itself, ameliorates the snack shortage situation.
While I really liked the previous method, I understand it’s limitations in regards to confidentiality. I’d like to instead propose an opt-in solution — a Google calendar where people can choose to share their own birthdays and anniversaries as recurring yearly events. This can possibly even be automated if we set up a Google form or something and have a script to populate the calendar.
I also understand I can totally just email out to chatter to try and implement this on my own. However, I think it would be more impactful if it came from your team instead, and also I email chatter a lot. :)
Anyway, please let me know what you think!! Definitely open to discuss this further. Originally, I thought maybe it wasn’t such a big deal losing the calendar, but today was Sarah’s birthday and no one on her team knew, and I could tell she was pretty bummed since she’s definitely helped to celebrate other people’s birthdays. Likewise, others have brought up that they noticed the calendar had gone missing and were equally disappointed.
Thanks so much for your time!
I do know it was your birthday the other day, and of course, also Dad’s anniversary recently. These days I don’t know what to say to you or if we are still friends, every one of course was upset and interprets things according to their own dialogue.
I’ve been enjoying the autumn with going to the Black Forest in Germany, mushroom picking and rambling in the woods over here.
I received your emails from a mutual friend.
Schitz is a family-owned nut company. Our job is to serve our loyal customers by providing caring and responsive customer service, by taking orders and shipping orders in a timely fashion, and by maintaining and publishing our annual mail order catalogue.
Currently, Schitz is seeking an Agency to develop a new product line. We are expanding our line of nuts to include Honey Roasted, for which we will need packaging help. In addition to the new line we are interested in receiving a quote for website refresh. Our current website http://www.schitznuts.com is no longer representing us to its potential.
A Bing search turned up your name, and it turns out we share a friend. As we are seeking the Honey Roasted line, and your focus seems to be food and beverage. Your company has been invited to submit a proposal for the website and packaging line which must be finished no later than May 20th.
Questions or concerns regarding this request should be emailed to firstname.lastname@example.org by April 10th, 2015.
Proposals will be evaluated based on cost, speed, and relevant work.
The selection process is scheduled to be completed by April 12th, 2015.
Thank you for your time. We look forward to reviewing your proposal.
Why the hell did you think I would appreciate this?
Analyst – Client Resources
- Sales Force Specialist
- Case Entry
- Weekly Reporting
Hockey, Currently writing a Rice Cake Cookbook
Marking Content & Design Specialist
- Designs presentations
- Creates and maintains registrations for events
- Upholds brand standards
Travel, Dog rearing
What’s going on Michster?
How’s your fall going? Sad the warm weather has left us?
Any details about your newfound auntiness?
Congrats, by the way. That’s pretty exciting news. I just got back from spending a week with my niece. She’s walking now, and talking a lot of crazy jibberish stories, but they’re all still awesome. She’s got a love for books and playing airplane. It’s good times. I’ve got a new position with GNR. It’s pretty strategic, and involves a lot of creative new big ideas… pretty fun stuff! I’d love to tell you all about it when I see you next.
Any travels lately? Still planning a big trip
How’s work going? Getting a lot of time with clients?
Have a great weekend!
Congrats for your new book, I have it at home, I’ll read after Game of Thrones. I saw in the newspaper that you mention your wife, congrats for that too! I don’t know maybe you aren’t married yet (I’m sure it will be on the front-cover of the magazines) anyway if you two are living together, congrats.
Subject: RE: un virus
Date: Mon, 7 Nov 2011 15:21:03 +0000
Thanks Fio, I’m struggling with him.
Subject: un virus
Date: Mon, 7 Nov 2011 12:20:07 -0300
How are you?
I received an email with a virus from your email account. Beware you must have something infected!!!
Thank you for sending me the card. It was beautiful - I love how intricate it was and I can tell how much time you put into making it.
Sometimes when I see them I feel sad, thinking about how much you can love someone, enough to make them works of art that they can’t even be bothered to thank you for because they are too overwhelmed with their lives and their own feelings. How you might think I’m better than I actually am, or maybe just see the person that I could be. It makes me feel guilty for not being that person, and then annoyed and more guilty for not being able to just appreciate a stupid card.
I want to be a better person in your life, and in everyone’s lives. Thank you. I will try to send this email for real at some point. Maybe without all the feelings stuff.
PS. The confetti’s always a nice touch.
and I want it all or nothing at all.
Pretty sure this is only due to Monday. :)
I still think about you sometimes, Kathryn.
Hello Air Tahiti Nui,
I would like to unsubscribe from your mailing list.
Happy birthday Phil!
On this very special day of your birth, I know that you’re thanking your family for their many years of support.
I hope that you’re celebrating with good friends and good food.
I pray that you have immense peace in your heart.
And immense overwhelming joy that is clearly evident to everyone around you.
If you can’t move on it (a job, a relationship, a decision) in the vibrational stage, then don’t move toward it.
NO is the right answer.
“I have to say NO b/c I’m not in the right place for us to have a good outcome. Not b/c there’s something wrong with you, but b/c I haven’t come to the resolution that I need to be at in order for us to have the fantastic time that I NOW demand of myself. I have to have fun…and if I don’t feel it, I can’t move on it.”
i think the drugs made me sad. i just wrote J a list of all the things that i am sad or stressed about. then at the bottom i had a few lines of all the things im really happy about, which are not to be forgotten.
(This is a draft from 2006. I was taking notes as my grandfather was telling me an old family story.)
We were coming home from a Christmas party and it was snowing
Uncle Marshal had too much to drink anyway
Grandpa’s father drivng the car
Headlights didn’t seem to be working
M said “stop the car” and sat on the hood with a flashlight and directed the last couple of blocks
Dad went around the corner and hit a parked car and UM sailed into the snowbank
How are you?
I’m sorry for such a long overdue email. Can’t believe it’s been over a year since we last saw each other. But I was so happy to read about your baby news on FB! When are you due? Boy, girl?
Hope the pregnancy goes smoothly.
I don’t like your beard.
I never liked your beard.
I will never like your beard.
SHAVE IT OFF!
I couldn’t find you on Facebook or any other social network, but that doesn’t surprise me… because you were always too cool for the rest of us anyway. With your Portuguese accent, fiery love for soccer, habit of calling us young tigers, and that office desk of yours with nothing ever on it — you were the best modern renaissance badass woman boss employer person. Sorry, that’s a lot of words.
Anyways, I’m sure you’re still busy inspiring your team to ‘stop chasing other people’s tails and find your own roar.’ But… I hope I can see you again sometime when I’m visiting. I’ve always wanted to tell you that even though I’m still working on my roar, you helped me find my meow first.
Dear Store Owner,
For the last five years I have been ordering The Sandwich from your humble station.
This item is not on your menu; in fact, I invented it. It consists of chicken cutlet, fresh mozzarella, lettuce, tomato, a little bit of mayo, and ranch OR balsamic vinaigrette dressing. I believe that no other person orders this sandwich other than yours truly.
You must be a man of true principles because your ingredients are always fresh and of the highest quality. The loaf emits a glow like that of the sun during golden hour. Your tomatoes stop me dead in my tracks like a woman in a red dress. And the fresh mozzarella… after being seduced by it, I believe that the word fresh should be used sparingly to not reduce the luster of this truth. All of these ingredients form to create a symphony in my mouth. If I could, I would double-fist these sandwiches and not allow myself to breath, for it would be an honorable death.
I’ve been coming to your store since it has opened and have not expressed my love for your craftsmanship. I judge a place by their sandwich. You have surpassed all standards of sandwich-making. I salute you.