Ok, one more thing.
And, this isn’t fully sorted out in my mind yet, so hopefully it makes sense….
We do talk a lot. But to me it feels like the role we’re filling in each other’s lives is a placeholder for intimacy — as opposed to a truly platonic friendship? Is that just me, or do you get that too?
I like it. But placeholders are innately temporary.
What I’m afraid of:
We don’t act platonic. We flirt and sext, but at some point you’re going to meet someone and start flirting/sexting her instead. And that’s good, and normal, and healthy, and how it should be. But when all of a sudden there’s this drop in attention/affection I’m gonna feel….rejected? Used up and replaced? I dunno what the right term is but it won’t be a positive feeling. The dark parts of my mind will start whispering, “See, he just liked having you around for the sex and the nudie pictures, but he doesn’t need those anymore so why should he still want to talk to you.”
So I’d really like to try and actually be fully platonic friends before that happens.
And I don’t like the idea of not being friends anymore once one of us finds someone we want to date — but obviously, when that happens, how we communicate is going to change (as it should). So, I guess I’d rather make that transition to “just friends” before one of us starts dating someone.