Let me just say that I did care for you. I really did, I really was your friend and I never wanted to hurt you, but you’ve hurt me and I need to think of myself, I need to do this for myself.
We’ve know each other for 5 years, and I find myself trying to remember how it felt at the beginning, the excitement (?) of a new friendship and how it felt to have someone new in my life that inspired me in so many ways, just to try to not yell at you every time we talk, just to keep myself from running away from this city so I never see you again. I try to remember the good things about us, but it’s like grasping at straws.. useless.
At first, when our friendship started to turn bad, I understood you were going through a hard break-up, but when everything you said to me made me feel like a horrible person for being in a healthy relationship, for not being broke, it didn’t make sense anymore. I felt so bad for you, but you had a way of emotionally blackmailing me to get me to do everything you wanted, to make yourself feel better, the victim, always the victim. It made me feel like I had to tip-toe around you, but, still, I tried. I tried to understand, to be sensitive, I tried to be honest and it so often backfired on me that I just ended up doing what ever you wanted and agreeing with you so I wouldn’t feel worse.
It’s fine, I still feel like maybe I did something wrong with our friendship even when everyone keeps telling me it’s not me, it’s you.
And why do you always interrupt me when I’m speaking? You do that, a lot, it’s always about you. Always. You didn’t even care when my dad got sick and i was so sad about what would happen, you didn’t care. Didn’t ask.
Honestly, no wonder you end up with no friends after a while, no wonder they, we, all leave you. You’re a bad friend, so selfish, so toxic.
I was trying to be honest. I was trying to be your friend. I guess this is good bye.