That’s all that’s left. This magical mystery tour of us being in the same city is coming to an end. You’re leaving. And I’m broken.
I try to be strong, to show people that I have so much else going on that the time apart will pass like nothing. But I can’t ignore the fact that for almost a year now all I wanted was the chance for us to be together. And I got that. It happened. Against all odds, and despite my own craziness, we had our moment. We dated, we kissed, we cooked breakfasts and did crosswords in each other’s arms.
And it’s ending.
We have kept one another at arms length, I know that was self preservation on my end, I don’t know if it was for you as well. We didn’t dive deep, we didn’t jump off the cliff. Instead we peered over the edge, held hands, and looked into each other’s eyes with an understanding. Not yet. We can’t jump yet.
I am grateful for all of it, I regret nothing, I just can not believe how quickly the time went.
We aren’t great at being vulnerable. I know that, I create that. I’m just trying to survive this as best I can.
This hurts. I wish it didn’t but it hurts, I let you in. My heart is so happy around you, and will be so lost without you.
I just needed you to know this before you left - so you know that this, for me, was real.
Signed, sealed, and never delivered from 2013