I wasn’t supposed to be there that night but destiny had other plans. The date was July 12, 7+12 = 19. We bonded over “The Autobiography” and classical music while night riding through the summer streets of BK. Two sleeps later, we met again and you gifted me Richard Wright. 300+ pages, I consumed with more focus than anything I had read all year. The following week, Coates had us both missing train stops and quoting struggles you felt deeply for coming up black in America and I felt deeply because when you get cut, I bleed. We shared Baldwin, then Hampton, then Mr B, then Baldwin again.
You taught me to swing from the bars, and invited me to your show, then I gave you my skipping rope and invited you to my show. We honored Mr B at the Apollo and clapped until our hands became raw but soon after, my love met your fear and we fell back. A reality I struggled with but tried so hard to embrace. We broke new ground at the new year with Lauryn, and more Baldwin and dinner and Robeson. Then we exhaled and we embraced and we kissed and it was good. While we brought each other freedom, we also brought each other fear.
You dipped one foot in, but you couldn’t step to me with both, which hurt, but I would sooner die than clip your wings. I wasn’t brave enough to tell you how I loved you in the moment, because I was afraid you didn’t love me back…So now you’re on a different path and I’m forced to let you go. Our time was so brief and my heart wasn’t expecting you, but you came and opened it up, and I loved you for it. You said I changed your life, but I say, you changed mine. You said other things, I will keep close to my heart for the rest of my life.
I have faith in the universe bringing us back together one day, when the dust settles, and it will be positive, and light. It might not be in this life but Beyonce is a black radical now (finally) so anything could happen. Until then, I love you, protect yourself, speak your truth on stage and dream of Revolution. I promise to do the same from the streets.
Eternal love, Me