Dear Store Owner,
For the last five years I have been ordering The Sandwich from your humble station.
This item is not on your menu; in fact, I invented it. It consists of chicken cutlet, fresh mozzarella, lettuce, tomato, a little bit of mayo, and ranch OR balsamic vinaigrette dressing. I believe that no other person orders this sandwich other than yours truly.
You must be a man of true principles because your ingredients are always fresh and of the highest quality. The loaf emits a glow like that of the sun during golden hour. Your tomatoes stop me dead in my tracks like a woman in a red dress. And the fresh mozzarella… after being seduced by it, I believe that the word fresh should be used sparingly to not reduce the luster of this truth. All of these ingredients form to create a symphony in my mouth. If I could, I would double-fist these sandwiches and not allow myself to breath, for it would be an honorable death.
I’ve been coming to your store since it has opened and have not expressed my love for your craftsmanship. I judge a place by their sandwich. You have surpassed all standards of sandwich-making. I salute you.